This is the story of my walk as a Christian, a desire to live godly and to live in righteous service to God, but a sensation of spinning my wheels in hopeless effort. It's like I daily strive for something I can never attain, which in some ways is reality.  But, I know that through Christ's strength, I have the option and ability to 'not sin', yet so often I choose the sinful path and hate myself for it.  This inner battle is sometimes exhausting. I desire, yet never reach the goal.

Today I prayed that the Lord would renew my mind as I read His Word, and I ended up at this passage of Scripture.

"Desire realized is sweet to the soul, but it is an abomination to fools to turn away from evil." (Proverbs 13:19)

Truly, according to this passage, even the desire to 'turn away from evil' is sweet to the soul.  I am thankful that God has placed that desire in my heart, knowing that someday, when I'm living in a glorified body in heaven, I will finally have reached the upward goal for which  I have been striving all these years. I will have finally 'turned away from evil' for good.

This passage encourages me because it reminds me I'm not a fool.  Some days I feel like one, but if I were a fool, then I would be sickened and repulsed by the mere thought of repentance.

Thank You Lord for placing a desire for Yourself in my heart, and for leading me onward, pressing toward the goal. I pray that You would daily grant repentance and lead me away from evil desires and toward Yourself.  Thank you for giving me the desire to continue pressing toward righteousness, no matter how frustrating the fight against my sinful flesh. Thank You for Your Word that holds me accountable, renews my mind, strengthens my faith, encourages my heart, heals my soul. I love Your Word, Lord.